An End of Self
Reflection on July
July was a month of grief, quiet sadness, and deep inner battles. I found myself mourning—not just for what was lost, but for the parts of me that had to stay strong when all they really wanted was to rest.
I began the month with the intention to have fun, to make the most of my break. But instead, I found myself withdrawing from everything. I wanted to be alone, in the dark, away from the noise. Rest became my only desire. Not the joyful, luxurious kind of rest—but the kind your body begs for when it can no longer carry what you’ve been forcing it to hold.
I had no energy. My body started to complain. My knees ached, my back throbbed. It was as if my body had finally run out of ways to protect me from everything I had been pushing down. And so, I was forced to be still. Forced to sit with my sadness, my emptiness, my fatigue.
Being still meant feeling everything I had tried to ignore. And yet, I now see that this stillness wasn’t a punishment—it was an invitation. To slow down… To listen… To grieve … To heal.