Always Believe in a Fresh Start

I woke up today and I didn’t want to speak to anyone, I was staring at the ceiling … staying in my bed … with complete silence … no voices in my head … nothing … like my mind was still off and it was amazing to experience this … I took few minutes with complete disconnection from everything but I have to connect and go to work.

When I went outside, the sky was full of beautiful clouds and there was light rain … wonderful weather. However, still, I don’t want to speak or interact with anyone … I want to enjoy my quiet mind as long as it can be this way … in total peace, no ideas, no worries, no guidelines or what should or should not … complete serenity… it was an amazing start of the year.

Later, my friend asked: what did you do to wake up without thoughts? How did you do it I want to do the same. And I guess it has something to do with me not drinking my morning karak yet but it is most probably because of what I did the night before. I was going to meet friends and on the way back I played a music album, The Book of Love, by my favorite Iraqi singer “Kazim Al Shahir” … I enjoyed every song of that album.

Another reason I guess it was a collective work throughout the last year of journaling, experiencing new things, having lots of honest and open deep conversations with people I love and trust, and working on finding middle-ground solutions that save me a lot of time and effort instead of being pulled or trying to pull someone to my side instead of respecting and accepting the other person perspective of life … and last but not least deciding to move on and start over was liberating to all negative thoughts that I was holding for a long time which I finally saw its result in the first day of this new year.

I had been in a situation, in which I had to leave it all, I invested a lot of time, money, and effort but the more I tried hard to make things work … the more it got worse, and the frustration and disappointment was raising slowly until a small event happen and boom everything shattered and nothing can fix whatever broken.

Sometimes before trying to think out of the box, you need to see what is inside the box … you need to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, what you can handle and bear, and what you just can’t. You need to understand your surroundings, be aware of what you have as a blessing, and be thankful for it, you need to be aware of your haters and how far destructive and harmful they can be. You need to be smart when you deal with others. I learned from the new people I met this year how to slowly open up and build trust with strangers, I learned that anger makes you lose more than what you can gain but it can create clear boundaries with people who are always stepping in and crossing your boundaries.

I learned that love comes in different forms and that having good friends and genuine people around is a fortune that can’t be exchanged with money, I learned that some people won’t see your worth because they are busy looking at what you have more than who you are and that sad. I learned that you need to face your problem and running away from it just delays the work you have to do and makes it more complicated as the more time you spend in chaos the more is to get out but also you can’t rush yourself, if you are not ready for ending take your time but don’t take so long.

“New Year is a time where the past, the present, and the future merge beautifully into one another. It’s the time to look forward to a joyful and rich year ahead. Happy New Year!”