I was listening to Rihanna’s new remix, Live Your Life. You can listen to the song by scanning the QR code below.
The singers sang about their lives as rappers and singers; and as someone who had been craving for her independence … to me, it seemed like they had it all—nice houses on the best side of town and opportunities to travel. They had all the freedom to do whatever they wanted but when you took a closer look their lives were not as glittery as they seemed especially the young ones; they lost and lived in fancy places but lots of them miss the sense of purpose or the excitement of aiming for something as they get all the materials things that they were aiming for and don’t know how to deal with the feeling of jealousy, rejection and all set of bad feelings and challenges that comes with fame and being rich package.
I do believe that there is a responsibility on parents to prepare their kids for real life, which means that there will be a time in which parents need to let their child leave the nest and explore life and have his/her own set of values and lessons. Unfortunately, this privilege is not available to all people, some cultures put lots of pressure on young people to take care of the older group which could be unpleasant for them but they can’t handle the group or tribe rejection so they do it by force not by choice… others enjoy the vibes of being in the group and enjoy the shared life support benefits as they can’t take their life responsibility by themselves either afraid of responsibility or they aware of their limitation or maybe they just simply in their comfort zone and someone else take the burden.
When you are young, your way of seeing life is different from that of your parents. Sometimes you think that they are from another planet, they are retarded, and they don’t know what life is like outside.
They were raised differently with or without either parents or just one parent. Their lives were limited to their neighborhoods and most of them didn’t know about how to fully enjoy their lives. All they knew was that when they grew up, they needed to take care of their family.
Things with us are quite different; our world is not limited within the boundaries of our neighborhood and we don’t want to take care of our parents—we want to take care of ourselves first. Every one of us creates a circle that we live inside, like a bubble, and we wish we could be transported anywhere we want, away from where we currently are.
Now … the more I get older, the more I appreciate my parents and my childhood that I lost while I was running to catch adulthood … with the bad examples of parents who I saw… ironically I do value the ones who stick around when things get tough and stay present even if he or she does nothing … at least they didn’t harm nor add value … maybe they added value by their presence, I don’t know!
As someone who has lived as an expat in the gulf all of my life, I do believe that my parents enjoyed the privilege of living their adulthood life without their parents or family supervision which we do suffer from now! … and I keep telling them that when they speak how being away from your roots and distant family is hard!
I know as a fact that I am craving for getting my independence from the family and having my place in which I can have my own rules, values, and traditions … as my parents get older, I am getting too but I will always be their young daughter, I will never be grown up in their eyes and it bittersweet fact … they will always monitor me, they will always look after me and they will always love me no matter what… I love them too.
Earlier this week, I was watching a TV show series and there was a scene that spoke about how everything changes when kids grow up, when they move out and start their own families which breaks a lot of traditions the family used to have. For parents, this is heartbreaking but for kids, the more they work in creating their own families … the more they miss their parent’s traditions and take some of them to be part of their new families’ traditions.
As the old saying goes: “Home is the place where you grow up wanting to leave and grow old wanting to get back to … “ I guess that is true!
Heart touching expressed thoughts, that not every one ready to talk .
From one side described what means and looks like independence from other side how it feels being attached to folk traditions by holding on offsprings .
Clear example of two different approach how we grow up where both suffers from excess of it .
From one side too much freedom and independence can lead to ruin persons life, from other side excessive hyper control which leads to destruction. It’s that case when balance lost .
Freedom and independence specifically in an early ages can be very disruptive that can have bad consequences while being attached to your family can really help to avoid many mistakes.
Care regarding orders never can be such a burden while you have capability to do it although if you don’t have that resources it can be destructive.
In many cases we just copy pasting life of our parents, and our parents cannot give us something different from what they receive from their parents.
This subject has more deep roots that need to be talked .
Thank you Hayfa for meaningful state .