this note written on 05-Jan-2009 but it is weird that it still suit the present.
I had woken up to a cold morning and it was days like these when I seriously considered the idea of getting married so that I could stay at home to avoid having to get up and get ready for work. What’s wrong with staying at home and drinking hot tea under my blanket in front of the TV? I could wake up whenever I wanted and all I would need to do is to make sure I am up early enough to have time to think about what my husband want to have for breakfast, then depending on the daily plan no need to think about career development or future plans.
But the idea of the dedicated wife who had nothing to do except please her husband did not appeal to me. I couldn’t see myself doing that constantly, and I never wanted to do that anyway, not to mention that the guy might run away if I am too nice, dedicated only to him and become very attached to him (a strategy that some girls employed to force their guys to run away). Being too nice, too sweet, and too sensitive tortures guys because they always worry about saying the right things and not upsetting us.
I was never told that when I became more educated, my life would become more complicated, not easier. People never told me that I’d be more cautious. People never told me that awareness about finances, politics, technology, and sports would be a curse rather than a gift. And people never told me that I would lose myself trying to figure out what I wanted from life.
I didn’t know exactly what I wanted; I wanted to be a princess living an easy life and I wanted to be productive, but how could I be both without making my life unbalanced? Was it possible? If I hadn’t had such a good education, I wouldn’t have thought this way. I wouldn’t question life. I would live my life dreaming of my wedding day and waiting for that day to move into my own home with my husband. I would be very happy.
I wouldn’t worry about my husband being good-looking or not or whether he was educated and wealthy. All I would need is for him to be kind, reliable, and willing to settle: simply put, a simple man.
There would be no need to enjoy life to the extreme, going out and spending most of the day having fun. No need to have a lot of options and alternatives. No need to think a lot. No need to study people’s experiences and apply what suit into your own life.
Since getting my job a year and a half ago, I did more shopping than I had done in my entire life. It was a great pleasure until I was stuck with so much stuff that I didn’t want to let go of: bags, electronics, and books. Before, life was much easier and simpler; I had a watch that I wore regularly which I treasured more than what it was really worth. But with so much variety, I could throw things away easily with no regret because I didn’t get attached to them (I simply didn’t wear them long enough).
You shouldn’t compare people to things, but you could say that if you surround yourself with so many people, others fall from your memory with time—we forget about them. We don’t value them as we should.
On my way back home with my sister, my mom had asked me to get some bread; there was an Iranian bakery near our home. I stopped my car and noticed a crowd of men. While sitting in my car, I beeped and waited for someone to come out to take my order, but no one was free and my sister said that we should just go. The bread was so warm and smelled delicious and we were hoping for a kind man to give us what he had already bought and to wait again in the line for a new order. That was our dream, but all of them took their bread and ran to their cars.
I was about to leave when one guy approached and asked me what I wanted and asked me to wait while he ran inside again. After five minutes, he brought us our order and then asked if I would say hi to my dad. This guy was one of our neighbors; he lived just two houses away from us. I sometimes saw him when I left for work but this was the first time we had actually spoken. I was so grateful for him! There is nothing more valuable than having a good person around who is willing to help, knowing that I am loved and supported. I decided to try adopt this concept into my own life (of helping others when they need it) to get the maximum quality of life with the minimum number of possessions. I first had to get rid of many of my possessions though…