A few months back, I purchased a book called Girls of Riyadh. It’s made up of a series of emails that the writer had sent to a group of people in one of her mailing lists telling them about her and her friends’ personal lives. The emails revolve around the lives of four girls from high-status families living in the Gulf. It’s an eye-opening book in terms of revealing intricate details about love, cheating, and heartbreak—details that are normally kept secret, especially in a society where girls are raised to take a step back in a male-dominated world.
For me, the book was nothing but a rebellious message against the norms of society. It helped the time pass by but didn’t add any moral or educational value to my life.
Rebelling can take different forms: a new haircut, a bizarre hair color, a tattoo, or anything else that makes a bold statement. This reminds me of what I had done a few years ago. I went to get a haircut and the stylist suggested I dye my hair to blonde (my hair was dark brown). I agreed with her and changed my color to blonde with light brown lowlights. I was shocked when I first saw the finished result; it was nice but I knew I couldn’t hide it; I was scared to show my mom how bold I had been.
I wore a hat in the house for two days and when I eventually found the courage to show my mom, I made sure that she was busy with something else. I took the chance one day and she actually liked it and thought I looked cute! And I enjoyed the new look for a few months before changing it to reddish-brown color.
Sadly, we live in a world where what’s right or wrong doesn’t mean anything. It’s what people are used to—traditions and customs—that controls us. If you rebel, actually, even if you do something right but according to society is wrong, then you are the only one to blame. People will give you dirty looks, avoid you like the plague, and ignore you until you admit you were wrong and apologize for it. It’s the women more than the guys who face this because society favors the men who, in turn, enjoy this privilege.
I used to say to my parents that if I were a boy, I would have been able to do so many things and they wouldn’t even have cared. I could’ve moved into my own place or lived with friends, I could’ve traveled more, I could’ve gone out to discos; basically, I could’ve enjoyed my life more. I said to them that I was stuck with them working around the house, yet felt that what I did was never enough for them. Even though I was always moaning about this, I was very blessed with an understanding father who was always willing to discuss things with me to help me better understand the true importance of my role as a woman in the house.
I have come to understand that a woman is the core of the family and it doesn’t matter if men “rule the world” while we are in the background quietly doing everything. The men might get all the credit but we enjoy the gain. They do the ugly work (the negotiation, the fighting) while we make “the plan”—isn’t that what managers do? Make strategic plans for the staff to execute. So ladies, we actually rule the world!
